THE POWER OF GRATITUDE

The 4A’s of Gratitude

Appreciation, Approval, Admiration, and Attention are four pillars that provide a structured approach to integrating gratitude into daily life, leading to a positive mindset and joy. 

Appreciation forms the foundation of gratitude, recognizing and valuing the good things in life, big or small. Emily is a daughter who has cared for her mother, who has dementia and autoimmune diseases, and her father’s Parkinson’s and heart disease for over 18 years. Throughout this time, she began to appreciate simple moments, such as the warmth of the sun on her face, a comforting cup of tea, a brief chat with her mom, or her parents’ laughter. She became more present and content by pausing to acknowledge these small joys. 

Approval relates to self-acceptance and recognizing our worth. Emily realized that she had been too hard on herself, constantly worrying that she wasn’t doing enough for her parents, especially her mom. She started practicing self-compassion, reminding herself that she was doing her best and that was enough. She learned to say no to specific caretaking tasks and to seek help instead. 

Admiration involves expressing admiration for others, fostering deeper relationships and connections. Emily tried to compliment and acknowledge the strengths of her brother and sister, as well as those of strangers. A simple “I admire your patience toward dad” or “You have such a positive energy” brightened her and everyone else’s day. 

Attention nurtures gratitude by encouraging us to recognize the good around us deliberately. Emily learned to be mindful, slow down, and appreciate the beauty of everyday life. She maintained a gratitude journal, noting what she was thankful for each day and one affirmation word or sentence to reinforce the habit of seeking the positive.

Gratitude Is a Powerful Tool for Everyone  

Focus on positive interactions: Instead of dwelling on difficulties or limitations, actively seek and acknowledge moments of joy, connection, or accomplishment, no matter how small. For example, if someone enjoys a cup of tea, recognize their enjoyment and express your happiness. Expressing gratitude to the people you care about and yourself can strengthen relationships, boost self-worth, and create a more supportive environment. 

Offer sincere compliments: Acknowledge the person you care for for their strengths and resilience, and express appreciation for their personality or actions. For instance, compliment their ability to remain positive, their effort to try, or their sense of humor, even when facing challenges. Gratitude can lead to greater happiness and satisfaction. 

Listen to concerns and validate feelings. Encourage siblings to contribute to tasks, even if it’s just running errands or providing emotional support. Discuss each person’s strengths and comfort levels to effectively share the caregiving workload and responsibilities. Honor their strengths, create a safe space for one another to express emotions, and acknowledge their contributions, even if they are not directly involved in caregiving. For example, your sister may be detail-oriented in planning and seeking help rather than providing hands-on care.

7 Ways to Practice Gratitude as a Caregiver

1. Journaling: Write down things you are grateful for, both big and small, related to the caregiving experience, regularly. Developing a journaling habit gives you time to reflect and express positive feelings. Journal entries don’t need to be long. Some caregivers use Post-it notes to write one or two affirmation words or phrases, sticking them on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror as reminders.

Try this: List three things you are grateful for today. For example, your loved one smiled at you at breakfast, a friend brought you a meal, or you enjoyed a peaceful 20-minute walk alone.

2. Expressing Appreciation: Verbally thank the people you care about, including family members and friends, for their support and kindness. Also, take a moment to express gratitude for what you achieved today. Acknowledging others can indirectly strengthen relationships, helping them or yourself feel valued and appreciated, even when they don’t seem or feel great. 

Oprah Winfrey once said, ‘Be thankful for what you have. You will have more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.’

Try this: Write a short thank-you note or text to yourself or someone who has positively influenced your day.

3. Reinforcing Positive Mantras: Gratitude helps caregivers find strength and perspective in challenging situations, leading to better coping mechanisms and reduced feelings of overwhelm. This shift in perspective enables us to overcome obstacles, set limits, and face adversity more easily. 

Try this: Reflect on a recent challenge and identify something positive that emerged. How did it shape your growth? 

4. Involving Healthier Habits: Research shows that grateful individuals tend to adopt healthier behaviors, such as engaging in regular physical activity, improving their sleep, and making better eating choices. While gratitude isn’t a cure-all, many caregivers have noticed that their feelings of anxiousness, anger, and negativity decrease, enhancing their arthritic pain and sleep quality. 

Try this: Set an intention to engage in one healthy habit today, such as drinking more water, stretching for five minutes, or savoring your food by taking the time to smell and chew while eating. Practice sitting quietly for five minutes daily and taking deep breaths from your diaphragm, which studies show can help lower cortisol levels in your blood.

5. Reversing the downward trend: Daily reflections on accomplishments and unique attributes can enhance one’s self-worth and self-confidence. Acknowledge and celebrate the small successes and milestones along your caregiving journey. 

Try this: We can never know how our day will end or what can happen, but we can control our thoughts by choosing our beliefs. Write down three personal qualities, strengths, or something that will uplift you. How did they make a difference in someone’s life and yours? How did those strengths improve the relationship?

6. Grounding the emotions: Grounding techniques can enhance positive emotions, diminish negative feelings such as resentment and envy, and help cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Various physical or mental practices can help you stay grounded in the present moment while distancing yourself from disturbing memories or emotions. We are not trying to eliminate unhappy memories, but instead learning to forgive ourselves or others. 

Try this: Hold something cold, like an ice cube, or something warm, like a heat pad. Pay attention to the sensation in your fingers and hands, the size of the object, and its texture. It’s more beneficial if it is something you can drink. Hold the cup with both palms and feel its warmth. Sip the coffee, tea, or hot chocolate slowly, letting the liquid swirl around in your mouth. What does it taste like? How is the smell?

7. Foster mental hygiene: Ultimately, the most notable outcome of a gratitude journey was optimal energy. So, how can you find calmness before allowing your body and mind to rest completely? Do you not consider your bed a place for relaxation? Treating your space is also a key factor in whether you’ll find sleep easy. Viewing your bedroom as a workspace, cluttered with thoughts of chores, can hinder your ability to unwind. Unfinished business can lead your brain to think that way even when in bed, ready to slip into the world of dreams.

Try this: Before bed, take a moment to reflect on one thing that made you smile today. Write the to-do list half an hour before bedtime and prioritize it. Thank you for what you have done and for your capability to do the next day. Gratitude grows when we nurture it daily.

Final Thoughts

Gratitude is a powerful force that transforms lives. As Emily discovered, it’s not just about saying “thank you,” but about fostering a mindset of appreciation, self-acceptance, and connection. Through journaling, mindfulness, or the 4 A’s, practicing gratitude can unlock happiness, resilience, and deeper, more meaningful relationships. As she continued to practice The Power of Gratitude, she knew she had found a lifelong tool to help her navigate life’s challenges with grace and optimism.