Caregiver Stress: Managing Emotional Eating and Drinking

When we’re placed in a caregiving role we didn’t choose, it’s common to experience negative emotions like frustration or resentment. These feelings can still surface even if you sincerely love the person you care for. You may feel resentment toward the overall situation, your loved one’s illness, their behavior, or a lack of support from family and friends. While it’s tempting to suppress these emotions, unaddressed resentment can build up and greatly increase caregiver stress. 

Many caregivers find themselves emotionally drained and turn to food or alcohol for short-term relief. But healing starts with awareness, compassion, and tiny, consistent changes. You’re not weak for feeling overwhelmed—you’re human. Prioritize your well-being because when you care for yourself, you can care better for others.

Be Gentle to Yourself. Take Care of Basic Needs

When you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or angry, check in with your basic needs. What’s fueling your emotions? Caregivers often neglect themselves while focusing on their loved ones. Skipping meals, not drinking enough water, or lacking sleep can amplify feelings of irritation and resentment. If you’re exhausted, your ability to manage your emotions will be depleted. Small self-care steps—like eating a balanced meal, staying hydrated, and taking short breaks—can improve emotional resilience.

Suzie’s Story: A Wake-Up Call

Suzie’s life changed three months ago when her father was diagnosed with both a heart condition and Parkinson’s disease. Overnight, she became a part-time caregiver while trying to manage her health challenges. She soon noticed intense cravings for chips, candy, and cookies—anything to give her a quick burst of comfort. Her evening stress relief was drinking soda, beer, or wine with late-night snacking.

“I just need something in my mouth. It distracts me and gives me a little energy,” she shared. After a routine check-up, Suzie was stunned to learn she had developed pre-diabetes and high cholesterol and gained 15 pounds.

Recognizing the Behavior Without Self-Judgment

The first step to addressing emotional snacking and drinking is acknowledging that it’s happening. Suzie realized that stress and anxiety were triggering her snack cravings. Instead of judging herself, she observed the pattern with compassion. Self-judgment often adds to our emotional load, creating guilt, shame, or frustration—none of which help us cope better. “I am doing such a lousy job. There is still so much housework, and no one else cares. Why does this happen?”

Identifying Emotional Triggers

The next step is to understand what’s triggering the urge to eat. For Suzie, the most decisive cravings came before her dad’s medical appointments and lab visits. She was anxious about the outcomes, scared of watching him deteriorate, and felt helpless. Food became her emotional shield. Once she identified the triggers, Suzie began saying to herself, “I’m scared. This caregiving journey is hard. I don’t know what will happen, and the food relieves me—but it doesn’t solve the problem.”

Finding Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Suzie began practicing breathwork, calling a friend, and listening to her favorite playlist when cravings hit. She also used physical activity to regulate emotions, such as:

• A 15-minute walk after an intense caregiving day
• A warm bath with calming music when she felt drained
• Following a guided cardio video on her phone to release bottled-up tension

These small but intentional changes took time to recognize and adjust, yet they helped her distinguish between emotional and physical hunger. She learned that accepting and feeling all emotions, including the uncomfortable ones, is essential.

Acceptance and Self-Compassion

Instead of beating herself up, Suzie accepted that emotional eating or drinking was her response to real, challenging situations when his father acted frustrated. She reminded herself that feeling scared and tired is okay. It was impossible to get everything done, particularly when they did not go as smoothly as expected. This acceptance gave her space to choose different actions towards herself.

5 Tips for Mindful Choices on Unhealthy Foods and Drinks

Track Patterns Without Shame. Keep a “Snack Journal” for 5-7 days. Record what you eat, when, and how you feel. Note whether it’s at the end of a stressful day or after conflicts with family members. Patterns will begin to emerge, helping you identify emotional triggers linked to stress, snacking, and drinking choices.

Try This: Use a simple notes app on your phone to answer questions such as: “What happened before I wanted a drink?” and “What was I feeling?”

Pause and Ask “What Do I Need Right Now?”Before reaching for comfort food, stop for 10 seconds and ask: “Am I truly hungry, or do I need a break, a nap, or someone to talk to?”

Create small boundaries to regain control. These boundaries shift your relationship with alcohol from an escape to a conscious choice.

Try This:

• Limit drinking to certain days or social settings
• Use a smaller glass or alternate with sparkling water
• Avoid drinking when you’re alone and overwhelmed

Notice Cravings That Come Suddenly: Physical hunger builds gradually. Sudden, intense cravings—especially for sugar, salt, or carbs—are often linked to emotions, not hunger.

Find Replacement Rituals: Many people reach for alcohol out of habit. Replace that ritual with something soothing and satisfying. The key is to replace the ritual, not just remove the alcohol.

Try This:

• Swap wine for a mocktail or hot herbal tea
• Do a calming 5-minute stretching session before bedtime
• Take a shower or play an uplifting podcast after a hard day

Use a “Why I’m Drinking” Journal Prompt: Write down your thoughts before having a drink. Track this for 5 to 7 days and identify the emotions driving your desire to drink. This tool helps build self-awareness and creates space for healthier choices.

Try this prompt:

“Today, I feel ____. I want to drink because ____. What else can I do to support myself or feel heard?”