Alzheimer’s – Managing the Repetitive Behaviors

Why Does My Loved One Keep Repeating Things? If you’re caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, you may notice they repeat the same question, story, or action over and over. At first, it might be frustrating—or even confusing. You may wonder: Why are they doing this? Are they trying to annoy me? Don’t they remember we already talked about that?

The truth is, they’re not doing it on purpose. Repetitive behaviors are very common in people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. It’s their brain’s way of trying to make sense of the world as memory and thinking skills slowly fade.

Why Repetitive Behaviors Happen

As Alzheimer’s progresses, the brain struggles to retain short-term memories. That’s why your loved one might ask, “When are we going to the doctor?” five times in ten minutes—they simply don’t remember asking it before. Repetitive behaviors often happen because this repetition can be comforting to them. It gives them a sense of control in a world that no longer makes as much sense.

• Memory is fading, and they might not remember that they already asked or did something.
• They feel anxious or unsure, so doing something repeatedly can bring a sense of comfort.
• They need structure or something to do, but if there’s not much going on, repeating an action fills the time.
• They’re trying to say something they need but may not have the words for it.

Understanding Alzheimer’s Experience

The emotional experiences of Paul as he navigated the symptoms of Alzheimer’s were both heart-wrenching and enlightening. The manifestations of this condition often fueled a deep sense of insecurity and anxiety within him, creating a complex emotional landscape.

The constant companion of memory loss brought about perpetual worries and fear of forgetting essential appointments or cherished moments. Visual-spatial problems intensified this anxiety, causing Paul to feel lost and disoriented even within the walls of our familiar home. The once-familiar surroundings became a source of confusion and uncertainty.

The diminishing ability to cope with stress marked a significant shift, rendering Paul increasingly dependent on me as his caregiver. His son, Sam, became his anchor, the person he trusted to help navigate the storm of emotions. In this role, Sam witnessed the poignant effects of Alzheimer’s on Paul’s behavior. “He would follow me like a shadow wherever I went, seeking reassurance and security. Multiple phone calls throughout the day and repeated questions became his way of staying present. The dependence on my presence grew to the extent that any momentary absence triggered feelings of distress and agitation”.

“Stop asking where your socks are. I was furious when Dad constantly knocked on the door during my meeting.” Both emotional symbiosis became evident when Sam’s weariness or impatience inadvertently sparked Paul’s agitation. Paul’s emotional state becomes vulnerable during those moments, as he feels threatened and agitated in response to Sam’s frustration. The delicate balance of patience and understanding became paramount in maintaining emotional well-being.

Even a brief separation would set off a chain reaction of worry and restlessness if Paul couldn’t see or hear Sam. “The fear of losing me, even momentarily, drove him to wander in search of my presence, risking the possibility of getting lost”. The intensity of this emotional attachment underscored the profound impact of dementia on Paul’s sense of security and connection.

Navigating these emotional intricacies required a compassionate understanding and a commitment to being a steadfast anchor in Paul’s ever-shifting reality. “The journey was emotionally taxing, but in those moments of vulnerability and dependence, our connection became a lifeline—a reminder of the profound impact love and care can have on someone grappling with the challenges of dementia.

6 Practical Ways to Manage Common Repeated Actions

Repeating Questions (especially “Where are we going?” or “What time is it?”)

Example: “What time are we going?” The person asked every five minutes. Your loved one isn’t trying to upset you—they don’t remember asking, most likely did not remember your answer, or feel uncertain about the plan. They may not remember the answer or feel unsure of what’s happening next.

Caregiver Tip: Use visual cues. Write the schedule on a whiteboard or sticky note: “Doctor’s appointment – 2 PM.” Instead of getting frustrated, try using a calm tone and respond kindly with a brief answer: “You just asked that!” Try to answer patiently, “The doctor’s appointment is at 2 p.m.,” and gently point to the note. After answering multiple times, steer the conversation to something familiar and pleasant: “Let’s look at this photo album from our trip,” or “Let’s check out what Roger (the cat) is doing.”

Repeating Stories or Conversations

Example: Telling the same childhood memory multiple times a day. They forget they’ve already told you. Older memories are often stronger than recent ones, and sharing them can be a pleasant experience. Telling the same story gives them a sense of connection and control.

Caregiver Tip: Listen with interest. Even if you’ve heard it many times, it’s meaningful to them. Ask open-ended questions to encourage storytelling: “What was the weather like that day?” Create a memory book and add photos and short notes about stories they enjoy sharing. Another approach is to ask a different question or start a new activity together. You might say, “That was a fun memory—do you want to help me fold towels?”

Pacing, Walking in Circles, or Wandering the Same Path

Example: Walking back and forth in the hallway. This could be a way to reduce restlessness or feel in control. 

Caregiver Tip: Clear walkways and use non-slip rugs. How about joining the movement? Walk with them or suggest going for a walk outside to give the behavior a purpose. You can also add relaxing activities, such as tossing a soft ball, stretching gently, or playing puzzles. If they are not interested, offer something different and say, “Let’s have some tea together. Can you help me pour the milk in?” 

A daily routine helps reduce anxiety and confusion. If they know what to expect each day, they may repeat less. For example, their tasks may include morning walks, puzzles after breakfast, or folding napkins to prepare for dinner.

Repeating Words or Phrases

Example: “Train. Train. Train.” or “Peter, Peter, Peter” every few minutes. Sometimes it’s anxiety, loneliness, or just a habit that makes them feel secure.

Caregiver Tip: Look for the meaning behind the repetition. Sometimes, repetition signifies a more profound need, such as hunger, boredom, anxiety, or pain, but they can’t express it clearly. Try to figure out what they might need at that moment.

First, you must stay calm to calm the person if they are upset or anxious. Let them know you are nearby. Offer comfort with a gentle touch, a smile, or soothing words. Play soft music or read out loud to shift their attention. Leave a photo of yourself or a favorite item by their side. Familiar objects, kind gestures, and assuring words can reduce discomfort and fear. “You’re safe here. I’m with you.”

Repetitive Hoarding or Rummaging

Example: Hiding tissues or money, or collecting small items in odd places. This may be a way for the person to feel secure or in control of their surroundings.

Caregiver Tip: Create and label a rummage box or a drawer. Fill it with safe, familiar items, such as buttons, scarves, or old keys. Let it be (if it’s harmless). Sometimes, it’s okay to allow this if it brings comfort. Keep dangerous or fragile items, such as scissors and knives, locked away.

Repeating Movements (tapping fingers, clapping, rubbing hands)

It may be self-soothing, a way to cope with restlessness, or a result of boredom. Give them a purpose. 

Caregiver Tip: Don’t try to stop the behavior unless it causes harm to others or yourself. Instead, offer another hand coordination activity, such as a soft ball or toy to hold or fidget with, a textured cloth, or a sensory object to interact with. If it’s safe, invite them to do simple hand exercises with you, such as squeezing a soft sponge or stretching their fingers. Some people repeat actions because they want to feel useful. Try giving simple, purposeful tasks like matching socks, sorting buttons, or watering plants.

Taking Care of Yourself is Important

Hearing the same thing repeatedly can be exhausting. It’s important to take breaks. Taking daily breaks can help recharge you. Step outside and take a breather throughout the day. Ask another family member or friend to sit with them for a while. Consider joining a support group.