8 Strategies to Relief Caregiver’s Stress and Anxiety

Caring for an older adult comes with a whirlwind of emotions—worry, stress, and anxiety can feel like constant companions. While it’s natural to feel anxious about your loved one’s health and well-being, excessive anxiety can increase stress, drain your energy, and negatively impact your health.

To maintain balance, it’s important to have effective go-to strategies for managing caregiver anxiety. Several experts and authors have provided structured approaches to help caregivers manage anxiety and stress.

“Care for Yourself to Care Well for Others: 8 Tips to Avoid Caregiver Burnout” by Inova Health System provides eight actionable tips to help caregivers prevent burnout. These include finding personal outlets like yoga or walking, setting boundaries, seeking support, and maintaining physical health.

Take Deep, Calming Breaths

When anxiety strikes, breathing often becomes shallow or erratic, increasing tension. Consciously shifting to slow, deep breaths can help activate the body’s relaxation response.

Try square breathing (click to practice), also known as box breathing. This simple and effective technique for managing stress and anxiety involves inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and holding again, each for an equal count, typically four or five seconds. This method helps regulate the nervous system and promotes a sense of calm. Apps like Breathe2Relax (Free; iOS and Android) can also guide you through structured breathing exercises to enhance relaxation.

Identify and Challenge Distorted Thinking

Anxiety often distorts our thoughts, making situations seem worse than they are. Cognitive distortions like catastrophic thinking, mind reading, and self-blame can fuel stress.

Reframing negative thoughts is crucial to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and can significantly enhance mental well-being. The video “Reframe Unhelpful Thoughts” explains how to challenge and change unhelpful thoughts. It also offers strategies for reducing anxiety and improving overall mental health.

The Negative Thoughts Workbook: CBT Skills to Overcome the Repetitive Worry, Rumination, and Criticism by David A. Clark offers a step-by-step program based on CBT strategies to help identify and challenge negative thinking patterns. It includes exercises designed to manage thoughts that drive emotional distress and threaten mental health.

Another helpful tool is the Triple Column Technique from Dr. David Burns’ book  The New Mood Therapy:

• Column 1: Write down the distressing thought (e.g., “I’ll never be a good caregiver.”)
• Column 2: Identify the cognitive distortion (e.g., all-or-nothing thinking)
• Column 3: Replace it with a rational statement (e.g., “Caregiving is challenging, but I’m learning and improving every day.”)

Recognize Cognitive Defusion

Rather than being consumed by anxious thoughts, practice cognitive defusion, which helps you detach from them. For example, instead of saying, “I’m the worst caregiver,” consider rephrasing it to “I’m having the thought that I’m the worst caregiver.” This slight change creates psychological distance, making the thought feel less powerful and overwhelming.

Practice Staying Present and Being Mindful 

Anxiety thrives on regrets about the past and worries about the future. Mindfulness helps ground you in the present moment, reducing stress and bringing clarity.

Mindfulness isn’t just meditation—it’s a way of approaching everyday tasks with full awareness. Whether eating, walking, or washing dishes, focus on sensations, sounds, and feelings instead of getting lost in anxious thoughts.

Write Down Your Thoughts

Journaling is a simple yet effective way to release built-up anxiety. Writing down your thoughts can:

• Help process overwhelming emotions
• Provide clarity on troubling situations
• Reduce the intensity of anxious feelings

Seeing your worries on paper allows you to step back and evaluate them more objectively, making it easier to challenge negative thinking.

Cultivate Gratitude and Positivity

While caregiving can be exhausting, shifting focus to small positives can help reframe your experience. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring difficulties but recognizing the good amidst the struggles.

Try keeping a gratitude journal, noting three positive things daily. Small moments, like a shared laugh or a peaceful morning, can shift your mindset and reduce stress.

Speak Kindly to Yourself

Your inner dialogue has a powerful effect on your stress levels. Negative self-talk can intensify anxiety, while self-compassion fosters resilience. If you are self-critical, pause and ask: Would I say this to a friend? Replace harsh thoughts with supportive ones. For example,

• Instead of “I should be doing better,” try “I’m doing my best in a tough situation.”
• Instead of “I always mess up,” try, “I learn and improve with each challenge.”

Transform Daily Routines into Mindful Moments

Many caregivers struggle to find “me time,” but self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. There are times you can’t find a private moment for yourself. Or times you think you have to rush through so that you can take care of the next chore or for someone. In those on-the-go moments, they took you mentally and emotionally out of the present. Implementing mindful me-time means you allow yourself to set aside your to-dos to focus on your needs. Let’s use taking a shower as an example. When you can let go of what’s next and feel the sensation of the flow and warmth of water, smell of the soap, or how you lather the body. Notice how your body and mind feel when drying yourself. Energized? Refreshed? Clarity?

Turning your regular shower into a mindful one can become a powerful anxiety-reducing ritual. Let’s look at some ways to prepare and dedicate the time to you.

1. Schedule dedicated moments for mindful showers in your daily or weekly agenda. Whether before commencing your caregiving responsibilities in the morning, during a well-deserved break, or in the evening, allocating a specific time significantly enhances the chances of incorporating it seamlessly into your routine.
2. Turn to others involved in caregiving or family members for support.
3. Delegate specific responsibilities while you take your planned mindful shower. This will allow others to lend a helping hand and offer care, granting you a short yet crucial break.

To effectively clear your mind during your shower, consider following these steps:

• Feel the warm water cascading over your skin.
• Take some deep breaths and inhale the steam, allowing it to relax you.
• Pay attention to textures and scents—the lather of soap, the size of the bubbles or foams, and the shampoo’s scent.
• Watch the drops of water dripping on the glass or water running into the drain.
• Listen to the sound of the water, using it as a meditative anchor.
• Express gratitude for simple blessings, like having warm water or a few moments to yourself.

For an extra boost, try a cold shower (50-60°F for 2-3 minutes). The invigorating sensation helps bring you fully into the present moment and enhances mental clarity.

Final Thoughts

Caregiving is a profound yet demanding journey, and managing anxiety is key to sustaining one’s well-being and ability to provide compassionate care. By incorporating these strategies, one can regain balance, reduce stress, and cultivate inner strength.

Remember: The little moments matter. By embracing mindfulness, self-compassion, and small pockets of relaxation, you can navigate caregiving with greater ease and resilience.